Alone
by QueenAnneMagic
Summary: What if one of your best friends was murdered, the second blown apart and the third responsible for it all. Lupins' struggle after the death of the potters. Rated T .
1. The news

I was already in bed that evening, when I heard the front door being shut violently. I immediately knew something was wrong, but had nothing to do about it. I was still recovering from the last full moon, an exceptionally tough one, and could hardly take the trip down the stairs. I lay awake, thinking of all the different prospects of Dumbledore's' sudden disappearance.

At around two in the night he came back and I knew something bad had occurred. I didn't even imagine how bad it really was.

I was still trying to rise to my feet when Dumbledore entered my room. His crystal blue eyes were glistening and full of pain. I sank back down onto my bed and looked at him. He stood there, at the door, for several minutes, unable to speak.

"James and Lily. He's found them."

His voice was seemingly calm but cracked towards the end. I didn't notice it. At those seconds, my whole world collapsed, crumbling under my feet.

It looked as if Dumbledore was about to say more but he probably thought the better of it. He left me alone.

I cried. I cried and cried without shame. Tears of anger and pain and remorse. I didn't think, just cried, Dumbledore's words running over and over in my head.

James and Lily. He's found them. He's found them. Lily and James.

I calmed down only when I was out of tears. My head still swam, but it was slowly clearing. I started trailing my memory back - from the presence to the past. How they were so kind. James, as always, charming, confident, keeping my back. Lily, being so motherly and caring, and kind. Both of them so kind. And they never, not for once, did all this out of pity. It was always from friendship. Pure friendship.

And just a year ago they had a little boy, Harry, probably gone as well. For once, I had been able to be to be with a child properly, without its' parents being afraid I might bite his head off. I had even had a new found sparkle in my heart, of a given up dream, that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to have a child of my own.

Then my head drifts back to the wedding. Lily looking so beautiful and James radiant in his happiness. This has been one of his biggest dream for years, and now it was coming true. And behind him stands…

Then it hits me, the obvious.

How didn't this occur to me before?


	2. The story

a/n : I do not own the characters!

I run down the stairs, ignoring my weak legs, and burst into the kitchen where Dumbledore is sitting with Mad-eye. As they acknowledge me Mad-eye gets on his feet and leaves the room, nodding to me stiffly on the way out.I stand across the table to Dumbledore, planting both palms on the wooden surface.

"Sirius" I demand "and Peter".

Dumbledore closes his eyes, as if in great pain.

"Sit" he instructs.

I don't. I try to look tall and commanding. Soon I have am forced to do as told, both because my legs won't carry the weight of my body much longer and because of the realization that I won't get any answers until I do.

"You must not interrupt me" he says. I nod stiffly.

And he tells me. He tells me everything.

How Voldemort had found their house, how he killed James and Lily and how their little boy, Harry, lived and Voldemort disappeared.

I feel relief surge through my body at the fact that harry is still alive followed by a horde of questions. How did he find them? Who told him? When did all this happen? How did the boy survive? Where is he now?

The only thing I can say is "Sirius? Peter?".

He sighs and continues. He tells me about Sirius coming to the place, of Peter arriving a few minutes later, of Sirius cornering Peter and half the street blowing up and Peter disappearing, all that's left there of him is a finger. If I weren't so emotional at these moments I probably could notice how Dumbledore phrased his words carefully, not accusing anyone of anything, just telling the facts.

He tells me how Sirius had screamed that he had killed James and Lily and started laughing. He starts to tell me about the ministry arriving when I can take it anymore.

I can feel the already unsteady rocks under my feet grind down to dust and blow away, leaving me with nothing.

I motion for him to stop and stand up. Dumbledore stands up as well and I look at him, my eyes blazing. For a moment I hate this wonderful man. The man who gave me a chance and some hope, and had now told me these news. Then my reason comes back to me and I curse myself for being so stupid. I owe this man my life.

"Remus?" I can hear pity and inquiry in his voice.

I bow my head and shake it.

"Please, don't do anything foolish."

I nod stupidly.

"You are still weak"

I don't do anything.

He walks around the table and as he makes his way to the door he clasps my shoulder and squeezes slightly before letting go and walking out of the room.

As soon as he leaves the room I aparate.


	3. Sirius

I land in the ruins of Gordrics' Hollow and my stomach churns.

I collapse down and pull myself behind a slab of cement among the rubble, not able to go anywhere or even stand up on my feet.

It is early morning by now and I know I must not be seen. The place is full of muggles. Policeman mostly, some curious people and quite a lot of reporters. If I am found I will be accused of taking part in the crime.

I once again curse my stupidity. Why couldn't I wait until I get my strength back? I'm lucky to land in one piece.

I burrow my face in my hands in frustration. Could Sirius had really done it? I know that the one thing Sirius valued above all was loyalty. It was the one thing he had got from the family of black. He was James best friend, no matter how much James tried to convince me that we were just as close. They were practically brothers. He would never betray him…

I know I am just trying to convince myself.

It's not possible. He was the secrets keeper. There would be no one else who could betray them.

Betrayal.

The word feels bitter in my mouth.

I can't believe it.

I won't believe it.

I scuff my foot on the ground and restrain myself from cursing out loud as I hit a hard piece of wood that is stuck into the ground.

I pull the piece of wood out of the dusty earth and a pang of pain refills my heart. It's a piece from the handle of a broom.

The anger swells up inside me, threatening to explode.

James will never be able to fly on his broom again.

My thoughts drift back to Sirius, who had always been James partner for Quidditch.

He had been amazing at it, had a chance to get a place in England's team. James was fantastic as well but his ambitions took him to other places. I could almost see them now, before my eyes, flying around the Hogwarts Quidditch grounds, trying to nock each other off their brooms.

An idea flashes through my head. Could Sirius have been under the effect of a cruciatus curse? It was possible, maybe even probable.

New hope fills my heart. Sirius, for all its worth, had been a great friend, there was no way he could have…

I suddenly relies that I'm talking about Sirius in third person.

Could there be a chance he was sentenced to …death?


	4. Nothing

I apparate back to my room and collapse on my bed, unconscious.


	5. Nymphdoras' secret

I wake up with a small figure sitting at the other end of my room. I raise my head and a shocking headache hits me. I groan and the figure jumps up. It comes closer to me, somewhat cautiously, and I croak "who is it?" She steps a bit closer so I can see her face and my headache increases as I frown.

"Nymphadora?"

Her mouth forms into a quick pout at the mention of her proper name, but then she nods soberly.

"Sirius" I know I shouldn't put all the weight of my worries o this 14 year old but the words escape before I can stop them.

"Azkaban. For life."

I have only seen Tonks a few times, so it takes me time to notice that she is pale and her eyes are a deep, bottomless black and her hair is a mousy brown grey colour and waist length.

It worries me to see her in such a state. I imagine in what state I must be now.

"Dumbledore mustn't know I was here." Tonks whispers. "He won't tell me anything and I need to know." She pauses "I have to get Sirius out of there".

I look at her, confused.

"He's my cousin and he's innocent."

"I'm really sorry, I'd love to help you, but there's not much I can do and I'm not in a state for anything right now". I want to slap the wimpy, 'sensible' boy inside me that had just said those things.

Tonks' eyes turned into a cold, crystal blue.

"if you weren't so damn right pitiful right now and one of Sirius's best friends I'd have hexed you so you'd never be able to open those soft lips of yours again!" she pelted at me.

I feel angry at her as she storms out the room but then it disappears. She's a teenager at her toughest time of life and her favourite and probably closest cousin had just been thrown into jail.

I try to get up and again my head prevents me from it.

I curse and feel for my wand, finding it in my jeans pocket.

I take it out and do a small clever charm James and Sirius made for me on our third year to stop the headaches I had after full moon. My head clears but the intense pain fills my chest again as I think of them.

They met on their first day on the train and both of them became friends instantly. Even as Peter joined their group, and shortly afterwards I, they stayed together. Both were terribly bright and I have never seen anyone with their motivation. True, they also acted stupidly sometimes and had very crazy ideas most of the times, but their loyalty and great friendship made up for it all.

Loyalty.

My trail of thought is going round in circles…


	6. Madness

I hear a small cough from the doorway that makes me jump.

Dumbledore is standing there and watching me intently.

"I'm glad you are awake" he says, raising an eyebrow. "I heard you have met our new resident" I frown and he continues.

"Nymphdora, will be staying with us for a while, only until she calms down and is in a state to go back to school".

I try to say something but all that comes out is a hoarse croak.

"There's lunch now if you want."

"Give me a minute"

He nods his approval and goes out the room.

The whole Tonks situation made me think. Did I look that desperate? I have a feeling she was going to do some thing stupid if I don't stop her or help her do things right. But first I have to put my own mind to rights. The charm helps the headache but it doesn't prevent my emotions from clouding up my senses. I had made some progress though. What had been before a dense fog was now slowly evolving into a light mist. James and Lily are dead. As much as it grieves me there is nothing I can do about it anymore. A corner in my mind fights this unbearably reasonable, cold part of it but I drown it out. And Sirius is in Azkaban, he killed them.

I was afraid that this feeling sorting thing would only make me realize how horrible every thing that happened have been, I have been avoiding it since I had heard the news, but now, that the inevitable had to happen, it only makes me feel better. No, it's not that I feel good, and don't miss and grieve my friends, but I have a better grip on the whole situation.

I remember better times, roaming the grounds of Hogwarts, sneaking into Hogsmead, helping each other with spells and homework, especially Peter.

Peter was always the one who lagged behind, both physically and magically, but we all knew his wits were good, although his tact wasn't always so.

That he was no more was harder to compromise. Not because my attachment to him was great but because the fact that he always didn't seem to be there made the fact he really wouldn't be there anymore just plain weird.

I resume to go visit his mother the next day. She is a very kindly woman and loves all her children very much. I am sure she will be glad of my coming.

I go downstairs to eat and find that Dumbledore is not there. Instead, sitting there, are a few members of the order - mad-eye moody, Augusta longbottom, and (need to find name) - and Tonks. Seeing the order only shows me how few of use survived this war. The pain tightens up my throat and I lose all thread of appetite.

One of the things all the marauders had in common was our appetite; we could all eat at any time, any place and nearly anything, only I mostly had enough tact not to eat in embarrassing or unsuitable situations. Could it be that now that we are not the marauders anymore, this appetite connection was gone as well? I know it is not probable but right now I need any theory that will make sense of this weird happening – _**me**_ losing my appetite. Sirius always said that I didn't seem like the kind of guy how could have an appetite equal to theirs' and they will all joke that it must be one of the side effect of my furry little problem.

They all look up to me when I come in. sadness is reflected in Ms. Longbottoms' eyes, moody makes a noise that sound very much like a growl and then goes back to his plate, (anonymous) is looking at me in pity and Tonks only stares at me angrily and goes back to peeking at her food. I sit down next to her and the house elf puts a full plate in front of me. I stare at it blankly until I feel someone kicking my leg lightly. I look to my side and see tonks giving me a meaningful look and mouthing "need to talk". Her leg is warm against mine and I almost regret it as she pulls away, seeing I have got the message. I snap out of it and take my wand out, conjuring a board and a pen. She looks at the pen in wonder but soon uses her metamorphosis skills to make all her fingers longer, so she can write without it being seen from the top of the table.

Then it hits me – mad eye . So I flick my wand and write MAD EYE MOODY. Her eyes widen in realization, but she is not the only one to realize. Mad eye excuses himself and lives the room, not before leaving a message on my board. R.L- 7 AT HEADQUARTERS. I flick my wand quickly for the words to disappear before Tonks sees it.

TONKS, I WANT TO HELP YOU. I write.

THANK YOU. She writes back.

This puzzles me . Tonks was never this formal. She was mostly a cheerful, happy go lucky kind of girl, who changed through violent hair colours and her ringing laugh echoed for miles. I guess that if she was not so young, something close to my age, I would have found her quite nerving. There was always a part of her that intrigued me, something mysterious and unchangeable, not like the rest of her. Perhaps the fact that I morphed sometimes as well eased me a little. Also wierd, was the fact she allowed me to call her Tonks. She never did that before. She hated Nymphadora but I think she maybe hated Tonks more then that. She would go by the name Dora but Sirius always insisted on calling her Tonks, saying it suited her better and so naturally we, the rest of the marauders, would call her that as well. But know she doesn't seem to mind "Tonks" now. Could it be that she didn't notice or that the rule of "you ever know what you'll miss until it's gone" worked its magic on her too. I'm willing to bet on the second one.

WAS HE THIER SECRET KEEPER? She wrote to me.

YES.

THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION?

NOT UNLESS THEY WERE KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME. Could they, would they, keep something this important from me? Probably not, unless they were hiding other things from me or they thought me the traitor. They couldn't be mad enough to think that I would betray them, could they?

I KNOW HE IS INNOCENT! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE AS WELL BUT ALL EVIDENCE POINTS AGAINST HIM.

She hesitates for a minute. DO YOU THINK HE'LL GO MAD?

I sigh quietly. HE MAY. BUT HE IS A STRONG PERSON, HE MAY NOT.

Just then a head sprouts out of the fire and Tonks jumps.

"Have to go" she says and leaves the room hurriedly, leaving me to my thoughts. Thoughts of madness and my visit the next day.


	7. Confusion

**a/n : I own nothing. It is all JK rowlings'.**

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><p>I wander aimlessly around headquarters, not knowing what to do with myself and quite lost in my own thoughts, until I remember the best cure for anything I have.<p>

Books.

I know that when I am reading I can forget anything.

When James and Sirius were in pain they would drown it with drinks. Peter would drown it with piles of chocolates. I drown it in words.

One of the advantages of reading is that it doesn't give you hangovers or stomach aches. Only the best books keep you up at night, thinking, or make your heart beat, but that too stops after two or three readings.

I go up to my room. I try to ignore the many smiling photos of my friends, looking up at me from the walls. I go to my bookshelves and scan over my books. I know exactly what I need. I need a book that I know well, one that I can sink into easily, and I mustn't chose a book which I had got from one of marauders. After hovering in front of my bookshelf for some time I pick one up and lay on my bed.

Only when I hear the bells ringing seven do I remember my meeting with mad eye and the situation at hand. I close my book reluctantly, noting the page number, 306. I don't want to go back to reality but I know that running away from it isn't the answer.

I go down to meet Moody.

Before I can even knock I hear his gruff voice – "come in".

" You wanted to speak to me?" I ask. I know that must not show any weakness.

"You must be careful"

When I was younger I used to think that his entire attitude was an act. All the marauders did actually. But through the years we understood that what had started out as a harmless mean of protection ended out as real.

"Indeed"

"You do not know what you are messing with here" he continued, slowly, as if he is chanting "you are going into deep, dark places."

Now I'm confused. Was this a misunderstanding or did he know something I didn't?

"She is dangerous" he warns.

I can't keep my calm, straight face anymore. "What?"

"She is very dangerous" he repeats "she will lead you astray, you listen to her".

My mind figures it out quickly.

"Tonks?"

"Nymphadora is young and stupid, you mustn't listen to her, she is dangerous"

I feel the anger raising up in me.

"I think you are wrong" I say, surprised by how calm my voice is.

Moody raises an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, she is young, but she's not stupid and she is definitely not dangerous"

I walk briskly out of the room before mad eye can say anything which will shatter my confidence.

Confidence has never been my strong side.

It was always the marauders which gave me confidence. At first, they _**were**_ my confidence, but slowly, I developed one on my own, one I could always use if I knew they were there somewhere. Only now they weren't.

Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks.

Did mad eye know something I didn't? Something about James and Lily's murder? Some thing about Sirius? Something about Peter? Something about Tonks?

I'm glad the full moon isn't due for some time, I really don't think I will be able to handle it right now.

The thoughts pain me, my head throbs and I feel as if something is pressing down on my chest. I desperately pick up my book and try to read again, but to no avail. My sight is blurred from tears and me eyes sting. I am tired and confused and right now, I really wish I could die, and join James and Lily somewhere up there...


	8. The finger

Hope you like my story so far... if you do please please review... it really will make my day.

Thank you and enjoy.

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><p>When I wake up, I feel like a new man, a better one.<p>

I know what I must do... I must find out how is responsible for the murder of James and Lily. I know that my first stop is Peters' mother. I also know that I have to figure out the strange behaviour of Mad-eye and what Tonks has to do with the whole case. I know, that in time, I will have to do the inevitable and visit Sirius in Azkaban.

As I walk down the stairs I collide into Tonks. Flustered, she looks up at me and then her pale face breaks out into a small, shy smile. I notice that her hair has regained a tinge of pink. I feel warmth fill my heart and I smile too.

After breakfast I apparate to Peters' house. I land in the garden and notice that everything is unbearably still. The Pettigrews are a big family, eight children, Peter being second oldest and it was never quiet. This makes me uneasy. I come closer and knock on the door. Harder. Harder. No answer. My war days instincts, still fresh, kick in and my wand is out. In a matter of seconds I am alert and start circling the house silently and carefully. I nearly laugh out loud in relief when I find they are all in the back garden, but my relief turns to sorrow when I see what they are doing. They are all standing, quietly, heads down, around a pit. Could it be... no, the pit is too small to hold a body, even peters' short one. I step closer, walking calmly, head bowed, and stand about two steps behind them, but Mrs Pettigrew senses me and turns around. I see the fright in her red rimmed eyes turn to gratitude.

"Remus, I am so glad you could come".

One of the younger girls burst out crying and another kneels down to comfort her. I feel awkward but nod understandingly. Only then do I see what she holds in her hands. It is a glass box that holds a finger. Peter's finger. She lowers it into the pit and one of the older boys starts to fill the pit up. A minute before it is completely covered I notice that doesn't look as if it was blown off, but as if it was cut off neatly. But why? Who would bother? Only if something was fake will someone do it. I must figure it out.

When they finish we all go back inside. The children all scatter to their rooms and I sit down in the living room with Mrs Pettigrew.

"I am very sorry for your loss".

She sniffs and nods.

We sit in silence.

"Thank you for coming" her voice was barely more than a whisper "I am sure he would have wanted it".

Mrs. Pettigrew is a small, kind woman, who resembles Peter perfectly. None of the others looked like them.

"He has been anxious and afraid ever since his father died". This statement takes me by surprise and she notices it. "He didn't tell you?" she asks, a concerned look on her face.

I shake my head.

"He died a few months ago, mysterious circumstances..." this is too much for her. She breaks completely and sobs hard into her hands. I don't know what to do with myself. Just then there is a knock at the door and Peter's eldest brother enters. Behind him stands a young woman holding a small child. He kneels down and wraps his arms around his mother. She sobs harder and I stand up.

"I should go" I say and leave the room, nodding back at the young women in the doorway.

As I go through the garden and is about to apparate I hear running feet behind me. I turn around to find one of Peter's brothers standing there, panting. He looks about twelve years old.

"Remus, isn't it?"

"Yes" I reply slowly.

"Why do you think he did it?"

"Did what?"

"Cut his finger off?" he replies, almost matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry, he did what?" I stutter, quite taken by surprise.

"It looks like he cut his finger off".

"It does, doesn't it?"

"Why do you think he did it?" he repeats.

I don't know what to say.

"He's been very nervous, have been for a year now" he continues " mum was starting to think he has Manic depression , he was changing moods incredibly fast, he seemed disconnected and afraid". He must have understood my face expression, which is just screaming what I am thinking – " what the hell are you telling me all this for?" – as he added.

"Just thought you'd like to know." With that he turns back to the house and I star at his back.

Snapping back to reality I apparate back to headquarters.


	9. Contradicting facts and tears

_**Enjoy!... and please review, it means so much!**_

It was still early afternoon and however much I tried I couldn't get back to reading. My mind was flooded in thoughts. Why would Peter cut his own finger off? It doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense. Whenever I had a problem before I would go to James. He always knew how to advise me and help me clear my head. Sirius was more if I needed cheering up. Peter could never help me much, it was more the opposite, although being with him did make me feel smarter. It sounds too harsh under these circumstances. But what are the circumstances?...

My trail of thoughts is cut by a soft knock on my bedroom door, quickly followed by a small head with mousy hair. Her eyes were grave and the note in her voice almost exparated as she demands " Where were you? I've been looking for you all morning!"

"I was away." I answer patiently, in the calm way I knew so well how to use to an extent that could drive the rest of the marauders crazy.

" I noticed, I searched the whole place!"

I can hardly keep from smiling.

" I have some more information" eagerness is clear in her voice. She bounds forwards and trips on her own feet. Flustered and blushing deeply she gets up and sits herself on the edge of my bed, only to jump up from the spot and look at me worriedly.

"It's alright, you can seat" I assured her.

"Thanks" she nodded " so, yesterday night, I talked with Adam Pettigrew..."

"Pettigrew?"

"Yes, Peter's younger brother, he's a good friend of mine, we are the same year at Hogwarts"

I frown slightly. Could this be the boy that approached him earlier today?

"He said they came yesterday morning and presented his mother with an "Order of Merlin, First Class" and the only thing that was left from his body" she shivered" his finger!". Tears swelled up in her eyes." He-he said they were going to bury it..."

I nodded gravely.

"I was there this morning, I saw the burial"

" And do you think so too?"

"Think what?"

"That he cut his own finger off! That's what Adam said... do you think it's possible?"

" It did look like it but we can't be..."

"But that means he's guilty..."

"Sirius?"

"Yes, that was the only explanation we could find..." tears were streaming down her face" that he knew he was going to die and wanted something for his family to have..."

She was crying uncontrollably now, and, after some hesitation, I edge closer and wrap my hands around her small body. She stiffens for a moment but then relaxes in my grip and crys.

" I really don't think that's the case Tonks, Peter was never very close to his family..." I stroke her hair reassuringly.

" But Adam said, he said, that he grew closer to-to them in the past two ye-years." She fills her lung with air, gulping in small, shallow breathes." He said that, that, he came to vi-visit them often and was really-really caring and – he was with them when their father died..."

I have to concentrate hard to understand what she is saying as it is chocked and nervous and her voice is muffled by my now wet shirt.

My thoughts are even more troubled then before. He was hardly ever in cintact with his family as far as we knew and he didn't even tell his father had died. As far as he remembers, he had seen Peter almost every day for the past year and if he didn't he was on a mission and everyone knew.

Slowly Tonks calms down and she retracts from my chest, feeling a pang in my heart as she does so, and looks at my shirt nervously.

"I'm sorry"

" It's no problem" I reassured her.

"I , I have to go" and with that she leaves the room and I stay there with her words in my head and her tears on my shirt.


	10. Thinking

**_A/N: Dear Fanficers... if you are reading my story, which you probably are, please review, anything really, even if you didn't like it or didn't connect to it knowing why would help me a lot and I'd appriciate it very much!_**

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><p>I must collect my thought.<p>

It is the first advice I would give to someone who's confused and it would be stupid not to follow my own advice.

The rest of the marauders always knew when I was in my thinking mood. They knew that at those times they just have to leave me alone. But now I desperately wish that they didn't. That they didn't leave me alone like this.

Everything is weird and not quite right.

Why is James dead?

The question seems unsolvable to me and so I put it in the back of my head, it being too painful to keep there.

How could Sirius, if it was indeed Sirius, do that?

This one is even more painful and seems even more unsolvable, at least at the moment, so I push it away too.

Why did Peter cut of his own finger? There are a few possible, though quite improbable, reasons. He might have cut it off so that his family could have it for keeping but I really don't think that that is the answer. For one thing, he hasn't been close to his family since fifth year and because if he would have time to cut it he probably would have had time to counter curse. But did he know the counter curse? Of course he did, I scold myself, he had a good memory and once he understood something it would stay in his mind. Dumbledore taught us many curses and counter-curses while training us for the order of phoenix. Also, it was possible that he accidently cut his finger off, his panic attacks were well known but again, he was taught, by Dumbledore himself, how to overcome those.

Why is Tonks so determined to show that Sirius is not guilty? I feel like slapping myself after that question appears in my head, but I know that there might be more reasons than I know. Maybe she was told to look for an answer, or if Sirius did do all those things he's been accused of, maybe he bewitched her to find out an answer, even if a wrong one, for his actions. At this point my hand almost does slap myself. I can hear James's voice in my ear – ' Oh c'mon Moony, those are the most idiotic things I have ever heard!' I flinch at the sincerity of it all.

Why is mad-eye acting weird and why does Dumbledore keep avoiding me.

I haven't been able to talk to him properly since the night of the Potters' death.

I don't know why these two questions come together. Maybe they are connected?

I need to talk to Dumbledore desperately, to get more information, and I need to do it quick because I know that if Sirius is indeed innocent his sanity might not be able to last in Azkaban much longer, and I'm not sure mine will either.

Azkaban. I must see him!


	11. Dreams and minds

_**A/N: I have a feeling you're going to either like or greatly dislike this chapter.**_

_**Which ever one - enjoy! Merry Christmas to all the celebraters!**_

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><p>Chapter 11<p>

I send an owl to Dumbledore stating that I would be glad if we could talk.

I feel tired and confused and heavy. The thinking had helped me clear my head but not the load on my heart… I had ignored the too hardest parts of it all.

I lie on my bed and slip into an uneasy sleep.

I'm sitting with James, Sirius and Peter under our favourite beech tree, we look about fourteen and we are laughing at something. Then we notice a girl walking towards us, Lily Evans, and she's smiling broadly and pregnant and looks about twenty. James runs his hand through his hair and then Lily suddenly turns to a different girl, to Tonks, and_**I**_ feel a sudden urge to run a hand through _**my**_ hair...

I wake up with a start and shake my head at the insanity of life, what was that all about?

I hear a sharp rap on the door.

"Who is it?" I ask uncertainly, the figure of Tonks still in my mind.

"It is I, Dumbledore." and with that the tall, silver bearded figure enters the room. He gazes at me with his crystal eyes. "I gather you want answers".

I nod.

"Sirius was the Potters' secret keeper, they would not have it any other way. There is no chance that he would let it slip. Not if his friends were important to him. We knew there was a traitor in our midst. Sadly, that says it all."

He dropped his head.

"Peter's finger" he continued "is still a mystery, but I really think he just wanted his family to have a memory of him"

There is something convincing in his voice. Something soothing and yet hard pressed.

"Tonks," he continued," will be going back to Hogwarts in a few days".

It feels as if Dumbledore knows how I feel and what I am about to ask.

"James and Lily's funeral will be held tomorrow afternoon in the Godric's Hollow cemetery".

I definitely didn't think of that one.

"Will you be coming?"

"Of course I will!" How could he think otherwise.

"Of course, of course, how could I ever dream otherwise".

I have a really bad feeling, as if he really does know what I'm thinking, like he's inside my thoughts. But he wouldn't, would he?

I close my mind instantly, using the occlumecy Dumbledore himself taught me, and I immediately feel a pressure lifting from my mind, a pressure that was there since Dumbledore told me of James's death, a pressure which I thought was there due to the whole situation.

Dumbledore seems to pale.

"I must go now, Mad eye will be here tomorrow so you can go with him to the funeral. Good day".

And with that he left the room.

Was he in my mind the whole time? Why would he do that? I would have been willing to talk to him.

Does he know what I think? What I feel? **What I dream**?


	12. Firewhisky and bedrooms

A/N: this chapter was a little confusing to write but I hope it won't be too confusing to read... good luck!

Also I'd like to thank KatiekkxD, PoppiiD ,PhilosopherStone909,dthlyhllws and WolfMarauder for reviewing... it has helped me alot!

I would be glad if you R&R!

Oh, and I don't own anything...but the plot.

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><p>The problem is, however angry I am with Dumbledore, he was very convincing. Even if he said just what I wanted, or in this case didn't want, to hear, everything seemed so true. He had given me solid facts that are very hard to argue with.<p>

I am determent to keep my mind closed from now on so that no one will be able to penetrate through my defences. Not even Albus Dumbledore. It is hard, and I know it, but I must succeed.

One question went up to hang in the air in front of him, joining the rest of the unanswered mysteries. Why did he do it?

It wasn't like Dumbledore to do something like this. Why is he acting so weird? This question seems familiar and I soon find its place. Dumbledore wasn't the only one acting weird was he? Mad eye Moody was acting weird too. Does he have anything to do with this? I know that ever since Tonks was young she has wanted to be an auror and ever since she has expressed that will Moody has taken her as his protégé, ever though she was young, and would train her on her holidays or send her letters with mysteries or tasks to Hogwarts. This only makes me thing of Sirius again. He was the one constantly filling us in on Tonks and her process. But does mad eye know now that his protégé confided so much in a person? Is he aware of that? He probably wouldn't approve.

I need more information which I certainly won't get from Moody, he is too well trained, but he is not the only one who has been trained, and even though Tonks isn't as experienced she has this great connection with Mad-eye Moody. And most of all, she is on my side of this mystery.

I head out to find her and, instead of searching the whole colossal perimeter of headquarters, just go down to the kitchen and ask the house elf if she knows where she is.

"Miss Tonks is in her room, sir," She squeaks. "She has asked me to bring her lunch upstairs. I was just about to do so, sir."

"It's alright, I'll do it" I say hastily, taking the tray from her hands before she can protest, and ascending up the stairs.

I knock softly on her door.

"Yes..."

"Tonks? It's me... um Remus"

"Oh Moony! Come 'n"

She sounds more cheerful than she had since she got here and instead on feeling reassured I feel more worried.

As I enter the room she seems to be tucking something away into the cupboard, as if trying to hide it, but the clanks of glass and strong smell give her away.

"You're drinking."

It is not a question, it's a statement.

Her already red cheeks redden and so do the roots of her now lime coloured hair. She looks at the floor.

"Tonks, I know this is hard, but there are better ways to deal with it" I know I always hated it when older people told me what to do but now I can see how necessary it is.

" Yeah, but neither of us use them..."

My defences fly up automatically. " I'm not drinking." I point out.

"But you're doing just what I am..." She hiccups," Closing yourself in your room and entering a different reality to run away from the actual one".

She's right and I suddenly know why I feel this way. I sigh."You know, you're like Sirius"

She looks up expectedly. "That was his way to deal with hard stuff" I sit on a chair next to her bed, placing the tray on her night table, " after Regulus disappeared, he smuggled half a dozen firewhisky bottles out of Hogsmead and drank himself into oblivion in the shrieking shack. We found him the next day lying there, with turquoise hair and the word 'Shakespeare' written all over his chest".

She laughs franticly but then stops abruptly. "I don't want to be like that" she has something desperate in her eyes, " can you help me".

I nod. " How much have you drunk?" I ask, my practical side taking over.

She lifts a single bottle from the cupboard and shows me its content. It is just a quarter full...that's not too bad, I think to myself, until I remembered this was not Sirius, this was Tonks, who was not used to drinking.

"First of all, eat your lunch" I say, "a full stomach will ease the drinks."

She nods and sets the tray on the bed, eager, for once, to do as told.

"There is no spell or potion that can stop the process the alcohol does before it is done but I think you should go to sleep after you eat and then call me by house elf when you wake, meanwhile I'll try to find some hangover potion for you...it takes a week to brew but there might be some left in Sirius's room." Sirius's room! How hadn't I thought of this before? I feel like running from this room and into Sirius's but stop myself, seeing as the young teenager in front of me needs my help. Apparently, none of my racing thoughts were clear upon my face. She nods to indicate her approval and I continue, "Then, I have some important news to tell you... I'll update you on what you have found and then you can update me on your findings."

She nods sleepily, her face a mixture of happiness and dread, still a dull red colour, and she looks so cute I have to bite back a laugh. I retract from the room.

"Remus?"

"mmm?"

"Thanks"

"You're welcome"

"And Moony..."

"Yes?"

"Can you take the bottles away from here; they reek!"

I chuckle softly as I wave my wand and four full firewhisky bottles, along with the half full one float my way. She smiles her gratitude as I finally leave the room.

I head down to the kitchens, disposing of the bottles, and sprint up to Sirius's room. It is next to mine and I can't believe I never thought to enter it before. As I enter, it seems I am a little behind time. I wasn't the only one to go into what used to be Sirius's room and was now just a plain, terribly clean, bedroom. No longer Sirius's messy, packed–full-with-junk one. It makes me feel as if my last chance, my last connection with him, was gone now. The aloneness that has pitted my stomach for quite some time now has made the pit into a great, black hole. Has it been someone who wanted to get rid of his presence or of evidence?


	13. Permanent sticking charms

**_DISCLAIMER: I never really got the disclaimer part... of course the things from the books aren't mine! That's the whole point of fanfiction... otherwise it would be fictionpress wouldn't it..._**

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><p>Chapter 13<p>

I slump against the outside of the bedroom door, after dashing out of the room I could no longer bare to be in. I place my head in my hands and cry. I feel so empty, so…alone. I finally get a grip and raise my head, noticing my stinging eyes, wet cardigan sleeves and running nose. I sniff loudly and wipe my nose on my already disgusting sleeve. I get up and enter my room which, is right next to…his? Can I call it his? It is not his now, not technically, and out of all the marauders, I was always the one who cared about technicalities. Technically though, that room wasn't only Sirius's room. It was James's old room as well.

The current, no longer needed, headquarters were Potter Manor. When the order of the phoenix first established, after my parents and James's mother were killed, Mr. Potter gave the order the Potter Manor as headquarters. James still slept in his room but Sirius joined him as I had come to live there too. The first plan was that I'll sleep with James in his room, as there was no chance of me in Sirius's room with both of us staying alive that night, because Sirius was very messy and very loud, but at last this was voted against so I could rest undisturbed after the full moon. So Sirius joyfully joined James.

But now, with Sirius's bedroom destroyed, so was James's. James, who had had that room since he was born.

Tears spill down my cheeks again as I stare daggers at my room, also Sirius's former room, although I made sure at the time, to my great regret now, that none of his things stayed there.

I feel like hitting something, reaping things apart. I tell myself not to do something I will regret later but the urge is just too strong, and my hand reaches out for the marauder photos on the wall. I can't take them off though. Permanent sticking charm. I smile widely. I had not wanted to put the charm on them, saying it was not my wall to stick on but James and Sirius had just put the charm on the photos forcefully. I remember Sirius mock sulking, saying I just didn't like them enough to keep them there forever. But no, I could never take them off!

My smile widens, turning into a lunatic grin, almost the familiar marauder grin we were all famous for.

All Sirius and James's things had permanent sticking charm on them too, they could never be taken off either. I race back into the other room, no longer caring about the walls-not-being-my-property anymore.

"Suspensi revelio" I say quickly, almost urgently.

The ghostly white peels off, reveling the familiar photos, banners, magazine cutouts and Quidditch team posters.

I break out in sobs on the white white bed.

* * *

><p>I wake up with a small pat on my back.<p>

I jump, startled, but relax when I see Tonks kneeling down besides me.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

"How are _**you**_ feeling?" I retort.

"I'm fine, I can look after myself…"

"I didn't doubt you for a second" I smile at her.

We sit on the bed, awkwardly.

"So, I see you found my works… really should have put a permanent sticking charm on that…"

"You did it?" that was one possibility I didn't think off.

"Yeah, I couldn't stand it being there when he isn't, but I see we had different views about that." She smiles at me meekly and I feel with some warmth, some goodness, one that I haven't felt for a long long time. But that warmth feels somehow wrong, displaced.

"So," I start, to get away from the feeling," I have some ideas about what had happened. I know we don't have much time as you will soon be going back to school. The thing is, that Dumbledore had accessed my brain, and has been in it for the past few days, ever since James and lily … well you know." I take a deep breath while she gasps. " It is very unusual of him to do so."

"But how could he?"she asks, astonished.

"I honestly don't know why or how he did it but that, for now, is not the point. The point is that he was not the only one acting strangely. Mad eye was acting weird as well."

"Moody?" she frowns, and the frown makes her look older, more mature than her fourteen years of age.

"Yes, he talked with me and told me to be careful around, well, you…"

"me?"

"Yes, he said you were dangerous…" Shut up stupid, I command myself, you're hurting her. And indeed, the pain is evident on her heart shaped face.

"He wouldn't…he would never… Oh Moony, I don't get it." She is overwhelmed by the information she has just received and I get an urge to lean over and comfort her, but it, again, feels wrong.

"I don't really get it either, but we are going to find out."

"How?"

"Well, for that we'll need you?"

"Me?"

"You. You're the only one how is close to Moody and he has taught you some things. I believe in you." I try to sound as fatherly and reassuring as I can. I really want to hug her now.

She nods curtly and heads out of the room, to her mission, and I, at last, decide to go on the long avoided mission I knew I'd have to go to.

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><p><em><strong>AN:So, I think of doing the next chapter in Tonks POV... what do you think...**_

_**Please please review, it will help me so much.**_


	14. Did and didn't

**_A/N: I have been waiting for this chapter for so long and so have some of you! This is the Azkaban chapter!...only with a little twist - it is combined remus and tonks POV and I am really exited (and a bit unsure) about it. I am not sure if I did it right. Please please review and tell me what you think...I might even change it later..._**

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><p>I know that if I want to talk to Mad-Eye, I must surprise him. And surprising Mad-Eye is not an easy task. But I also know that if I don't do it know, I never will.<p>

I floo over to his office without warning.

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><p><strong><em>I shudder at the horrible chill that fills me as I pass the dementored gate, two, relaxingly human guards at my side. I desperately want to <em>_to cast my protective wolf patronus but I had to leave my wand at the registry office. It really is ironic, also not surprising, that my patronus is a wolf._**

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><p>He lifts his head and stands up, his wand out.<p>

"Nymphadora," he nods at me, sitting back down.

"Don't. Call me Nymphadora!" This is the way we start any conversation, and although my heart is beating abnormally fast, I must keep a normal front.

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><p><strong><em>I try not to look at the many gaunt, hollow faces, staring at me through their cells. My heart is beating so hard, I feel as if it will bounce out of my chest any moment. I feel as if nothing will do good now, not event proving that Sirius is innocent.<em>_ I know it is the Dementors effect and I try to fight it but to no avail – they are just too strong. How can Sirius live like this? I guess I am just about to find out. It isn't worth it anymore._**

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><p>"Well?" he said gruffly. "What brings you here?"<p>

"I have some unanswered questions." I know I have to come straight to the point, and then weave my way through to the real information.

"I will not discuss Black with you again." I hear the slight softness, pity, in his voice, the kind of tone he saves only for me. I hang my head, as if caught in wrongdoing, but really ashamed of the many lies I have been telling him.

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><p><strong><em>A thought pops into my head. I sound like Marvin the paranoid android. The thought is so unbelievably casual of me, it is absurd. I nearly feel like laughing but the feeling slowly fades away as I walk the many corridors of the most guarded wizarding prison ever to exist. Deeper and deeper we go, down endless staircases, along many thin dark corridors, and the farther we go the worst I feel about the whole thing.<em>**

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><p>"But he's innocent!" I retort.<p>

"He was caught red-handed."

"Things must not be as they..."

"Enough." He has lost his patience with me, which was exactly what I had hoped for. I lower my head. "You are a wise girl, Nymphadora." At that, I pout slightly, even though I feel far from it after such a compliment from Moody. "I do not want you to do anything stupid. There are people dealing with it all. You have no place in this investigation." I pretend I want to interrupt and he ignores me. "Black as good as told them he did it. He practically set his own prison sentence. Proving otherwise will be exceptionally difficult."

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><p><strong><em>The guards stop abruptly.<em>**

**_It is time._**

**_I turn slowly, afraid of confronting him, of seeing__his__hollow face and gaunt expression, but what I see in his grey eyes is not madness. _**

**_It is hope, and gratitude, and sanity. _**

**_A smile cracks suddenly upon his face. It is a smile I have seen only rarely. Not the mischievous Marauder grin, or a boasting smile. It is a true, true smile, so real it almost gives me hope again._**

**_But than it fades, as quickly as it had come, and with it his hopeful expression._**

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><p>"But you always say, difficult is good. Difficult is strengthening." My first intention was to fake innocence on this line, but then I thought the better of it, so that I would sound more believable, and gave a challenging, knowledgeable edge to my voice.<p>

Moody makes a sound between a grunt and a sigh.

"You must stop remembering every little thing I tell you."

"You would kill me if I didn't remember, and this isn't little. You say it to me every task I have."

"It is not in your power."

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><p><strong><em>"I knew you would come" he croaks, but the voice isn't his, and it seems as if it is taking him a lot of efforts to say it.<em>**

**_"Sirius, please, we don't have much time"._**

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><p>This is my cue.<p>

"But Remus said..." I stop myself abruptly, as if I shouldn't have said that. He glares at me dangerously, but I feel happy. I know I have got him.

"It is not in Lupin's power either," he states harshly. "Not with his, well..." he falters. This is just where I wanted him to get. He grunts.

"Just leave it." I shake my head, glaring at him.

"Sirius did nothing, and both you, I and Dumbledore know it."

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><p><strong><em>"I did it" he says, but the smile stays plastered on his face. "I killed them, James and Lily".<em>**

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><p>I think leaving Remus out will only do good.<p>

Mad-Eye, though, is not the best Auror of the century for nothing, and he catches my meaning instantly.

"What did Remus tell you?"

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><p><strong><em>My eyes widen. I want to scream at him, make him realize he didn't, but I don't have enough will power to do it.<em>**

**_I turn and start walking away, tears prickling in my eyes. I feel like walking into a brick wall. I hear a scream far off in the distance but I don't let it bother me. It is probably one of the many lost souls who are kept here._**

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><p>"He didn't. Not willingly. I pushed him to it."<p>

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><p><strong><em>"I didn't". I twist around, to see Sirius up on his feet, clutching the bars. "I didn't kill Peter."Fury flares up in me. How dare he? How dare he lie to me like that?<em>**

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><p>Something collides with the window.<p>

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><p><strong><em>"Remus!"<em>**

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><p>"Tonks!" Tonks? "Out. Now!" I nod, suddenly afraid, and go straight to the grate.<p>

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><p><strong><em>Nothing. Nothing can penetrate my brain any more. I walk the many corridors out of Azkaban, and nothing. I feel a stone setting in my heart. I desperately need someone to relieve me.<em>**


	15. Monster

_**A/N: Thank you to wolfmarauder and poppiiD for reviewing... Not much to say - Read!**_

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><p>Tonks was nervous and afraid but at the same time eager and exited. She didn't know which of the said will overpower. It all confused her. As she stepped out of the fireplace, her heard still racing madly, she fretted for mad eye. Don't be daft, she reprimanded herself, he's head of the auror department. He is more than capable, for all she knows; it might have been an owl or something. But she couldn't help feeling worried; why was he so frightened? He had even called her Tonks! Moody never loses his front unless something really serious occurs.<p>

She didn't know what to think anymore.

Also, she desperately wanted to know how Sirius was. Of course she knew Remus had gone to Azkaban, he was extremely obvious. She was still sure of his innocence and didn't doubt it for a second but his sanity wasn't so clear.

But how does she tell Remus, especially after he had seen Sirius, that he can do close to nothing, because he is, well, a werewolf…

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><p>I land at the gates of potter manor.<p>

All I want to do is to go up to my room and stay there, undisturbed. As I walk briskly upstairs, the form of Tonks, curled up in an armchair in the Library, catches my eye and I, against my better judgment, retract my steps. She sees me come in and stands up, her eyes unreadable.

"Moony", she shouts eagerly, "You can't believe it, I had…", her voice trails away. She has noticed my face. She catches my eyes in her own and holds, and I gaze into the remarkable, endless black that had been there since the day Sirius was sent to Azkaban. She is so wonderful, so beautiful. "Moony?" she starts, hesitation now clear in her voice and on every feature of her pretty, heart shaped face.

I tunnel all my anger, my frustration, my pain into the perfection of her form. I lunge forwards, holding her, pressing my lips against hers.

She yelps, and nearly falls over backwards, but I catch her around the waist. She struggles even more but my hands won't move. What have I done? She looks at me, shock evident on her face, her eyes wide with horror. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out.

"Obliviate", this is the right thing, the only thing, to do.

She is flung back against the wall by the force of my spell and lands on the floor, along with a few dozen books. Then all is silent. The only thing to be heard is the ticking of the clock. I am frozen. I can't move.

Her expression is vague, her eyes misty.

"Remus".

I can't bare it. I storm out of the room, knocking a wooden chair on my way out.

"Remus".

Stupid. Idiot. Moron. Imbecile. Monster! Not fit to live among human beings. Not fit to among poor innocent girls who did nothing to deserve it. Ignorant monster. I won't let them, her, be hurt like I was.

With that decision I reach my room, and start to pack.

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><p><strong><em>AN: I really hate myself right now and I won't blame you if you do too..._**


	16. Epilogue

_**Epilogue:**_

Moody sat in front of Dumbledore's desk and waited. He hated waiting. It didn't make any sense – why would Albus send him an urgent owl but have him waiting? What if something has happened? Just then entered a calm, focused Dumbledore.

"Something has happened"

"Many things have happened"

"Don't play with me Albus."

"What had happened then, Alastor?"

"Remus has disappeared"

The facial expression of Albus Dumbledore stayed fixed, unreadable. He nodded, as if to himself.

As taken aback as mad eye was, for he had expected a much more active reaction to the former information and had already had his fingers on his wand, he wasn't going to show it, and continued. "You owe me an explanation".

Dumbledore sighed heavily.

"I have trusted you until now, Albus. I have followed your every instruction blindly but you have to tell me what is going on now."

"What do you want to know?" Dumbledore knew that being prompted was the only way not to reveal any crucial information he would otherwise let slip.

"Those dumb warnings. What were they for? Me going to both Lupin and Nymphadora and telling them all those stupid things about the other being bad and dangerous. They have gotten close. They're bound to tell each other."

"Ah, that is where you are wrong, Alastor. Their affection for one another will stop them from worrying each other. So that once one of them is fool enough to tell the other, that other will not tell him back."

Moody, though, didn't seem to have heard him after he had mentioned a certain word.

"Affection!"

"I understand your concern but I trust Remus to lead it the right way. To be able to take the role of the older brother she so needs now."

"Do you?" mad eye huffed, "Lupin is not exactly in a right state of mind right now and you are well aware of that. I have not known you for years for nothing Albus."

"I was, am, just worried about him"

"But you know Remus is mostly a smart, sensible lad who will not do stupid things. The kind of stupid things he has been doing lately. He and Nymphadora were writing to each other under the dinner table a few days ago. Lupin remembered that I was there and could see so I excused myself, but he didn't seem to remember the fact that it was not only tables I could penetrate." Seeing as that didn't prove his point he continued, " He didn't come to the funeral. I went to the house but couldn't find him. And you know that nothing can escape me." He said, tapping the side of his face in which his electric blue eye swiveled around in its socket.

"You are worried about Nymphdora, aren't you?" asked Dumbledore calmly.

"Of course I'm worried about Nymphadora. She's in a very bad state right now."

Dumbledore knew he was not telling him the fact he actually felt for the girl like a daughter but left him at that.

Mad eye started again. " You do know you haven't answered my question yet?"

Dumbledore looked down.

"What if they are right? What if black's innocent?"

"You are the head of the auror department as far as I recall. Surely you can open an investigation."

"Not without proper reasons."

"And all the facts are too clear for that aren't they? I must confess. The odds to him being innocent are very, very small. He was their secret keeper. They would have told me if it was otherwise."

"You put your trust in people too easily". Moody was starting to get restless with this never ending match of going round the wanted answers.

"I must, sadly, agree with your statement. I trusted Sirius Black. We knew there was a traitor in our midst, but black? James's best friend and the most loyal person I have met."

"But you did let him leading you to believe it might have been Lupin."

"Nothing was clear." Dumbledore sighed heavily once again.

"Exactly."

"Black though would never have done it."

"But he did."

"Did he?"

Alastor Moody and Albus Dumbledore often had these brain challenging, contest like, affairs, which was just their brilliant and most effective way to brain storm.

"What did they write at dinner?" Dumbledore suddenly interjected.

"At dinner?" he grunted.

"Yes"

"Well, he agreed to help her in something and she had asked him if he thought black will go mad."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "And what did he tell her?"

"That he was a strong man and he might not." Moody added with an appreciative grunt.

"And you agree"

"I cannot deny Black has a back bone. But you still haven't told me why." Mad eye said quickly before Dumbledore could change subject again.

"Remus Lupin is a werewolf and is not accepted by most of our society. If he tried to show Black's innocent no one will believe him, maybe even claim he was part of it all. But tjat, you already know, don't you?"

Mad eye nodded. "But that isn't the only reason, is it?"

"No. No, it isn't."

"well…"

"I didn't want to give them false hopes. I didn't want Remus to regain his trust and then lose it all over again. I didn't want them to investigate only to find proof beyond any doubt that it was him. It would break him down completely and the consequences may be severe."

Moody got up and walked out of the room. He knew that Albus was lying to him but his occulmency skills were much poorer than his friend's. For once in his life, he didn't want to argue.

* * *

><p>Dumbledore sat there, slightly guilt ridden. He had just lied to Alastor and it left him slightly uncomfortable.<p>

The fact that he had just come back from Azkaban didn't help him much either. He could still feel the dementors' on him.

He was given permission to go into Azkaban with his wand, being one of the most powerful, important wizards to exist. He had watched Remus Lupin Talking to Sirius black and then Imperiosed Sirius. It was all going reasonably well before a few dozen dementors decided to attack him, for no apparent reason, besides the one he was using his wand. He had tried to conjure a patronus but all he could think of was the face if Remus Lupin when Sirius told him, on Dumbledores command, that he was guilty. He screamed and fell to the floor but before long two human guards had come to his aid. He didn't know how Padfoot's and Moony's reunion had ended but the fact that Remus had disappeared was a good sign. A sign his mission had been accomplished.

It was all for their good.

But why did he feel do bad?

* * *

><p><strong><em>A\N: This is it. My first long complete fanfic. Feel free to hate me for the ending, I hate myself for it. Why must I be so mean.<em>**

**_I really hope you have liked my story._**

**_Please review!_**

**_Good bye story..._**


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